A day at the museum.

Today we took Theo to Marbles Children's Museum downtown for the first time. He had a blast (Susan and I did, too)! It's a really nice place, but the highlight of the trip for Theo was the water area. The boy loves him some splashing. After he soaked us both, he got a dry diaper and outfit before we left and I rode home in my underwear. Good times. Click on our Flickr stream to see the pictures!

Double digits.

(Can I just say how annoying it is that the pictures look so grainy when posted here!)

Theo turned 10 months old on the 16th! I can't believe we have hit the double digits already. As summer begins to fade into fall, I really can't believe it's nearly been a whole year. I think back to this time last year when we were getting ready for the baby party, putting the finishing touches on the nursery and picking pumpkins while I hobbled around as big as a house. And now, nearly a year later, I watch our baby boy asleep in his crib (in the same position I sleep in) and lament that he is looking more toddlerish than babyish these days. 

He is so fun right now. He smiles and laughs often and yells and carries on all the time. He plays with toys, loves playing with his animals and demonstrates pride when he does something new. He has begun standing for good stretches of time all by himself. He puts his hands up in a "touchdown" sort of pose and then smiles at himself in the mirror. He can cruise along the bookcase in his room, can walk short distances behind his push toy and can transfer between two things. He remains so close to crawling, but with all the standing and cruising he is doing, I just think he really won't crawl. Or, he will crawl for a very short period of time and then will start walking. 

He is also very into feeding himself these days. He loves toddler food and his favorites are cheese (is this my child?), veggie hotdogs, sweet potato cubes, fruit, homemade blueberry pancakes and pasta. We also gave him some organic vegetable lentil soup from Trader Joe's with the broth drained off and he loved it. I mean, he plowed right through it and the added bonus was shmearing the leftovers around his tray. And much to my great delight, I thawed a squash casserole I made in July and gave him some and he loved, loved, loved it. He ate every last bite, onions and all! He has less patience for purees now, but I still try to get him to eat them since that is the freshest food he gets. I can't say I will be sorry to retire the Magic Bullet and food steamer, though. Making baby food is kind of getting old. We did discover that he is sensitive to beets. He ate them (not me, those things smell like dirt!) and even liked them, but then got a horrible diaper rash. So, no more beets for him. He still nurses a ton and I am trying to figure out what to do about going back to work. I am thinking of just letting him reverse cycle on those days and not pump, but probably will try to pump twice until we hit a year old. He's so close, I don't want to mess anything up yet, but once we hit a year I think I won't pump and just see where that takes us. I always said that one year was the finish line and anything after that is just a victory lap. I am committed to allowing him to self-wean up to age 2, but I will feel a lot less pressure once we hit the year mark. I hope he doesn't wean too soon. I can't imagine not nursing anymore in two months as it has become such a part of our lives. Susan and I feel like we do our best parenting when we follow Theo's cues, so I will leave it to him to decide when he is done. 

With fall approaching, we are getting back into story times and play dates which is nice for all of us. I'm thinking once I get in the groove with my new job, we might try The Little Gym or something similar. We tried it when he was tiny, but it was kind of lame. I think now that he is mobile he would get more out of it. Today I took him to a Harvest Festival in Clayton (think small town America - it was slightly terrifying) and he got his first balloon. I tied it to the stroller so he could look at it and he held the string and flung it around the whole time! 

We are getting ready to begin what is always the busiest time of the year for our family. October is "birthday month" and Halloween and every weekend is already booked. We love it, though. It's so fun to see our friends and family and get to do all these fun activities. We are taking Theo to pick apples next week and hopefully it will be cool enough to feel like fall. We are excited for Halloween and can't wait to dress Theo up. I have started working on his costume already. We are also in the planning stages for his birthday party. It's going to be on November 14th at our house - probably around 11:00, but we'll decide closer to the date. We hope to see all of you there and can't wait to celebrate our first year as moms with this little boy we love so much. 

Happy 10 months, Theo!

Man on the move.

MVI_3815
Originally uploaded by MelissaandSusan

I got this push toy for him at a consignment sale and he is learning to walk and push the toy. He loves to push it to the closet doors in his room and then smile at himself. He can even take both hands off and stand for a few seconds. We are fast approaching toddlerhood - ahhh!

New job!

On September 30th I will be starting a new job and I can't wait. Susan had gotten an internal email about a part time position in the children's hospital that needed to be filled and she forwarded it to me. Now, I have tried to get a job at DUMC several times but never seem to get out of HR. The pediatric social work director is someone I had met before and she taught a few adjunct classes at UNC, so I thought maybe this time I would just try and bypass HR and see where that got me. Susan forwarded her my resume and then I sent a follow up email expressing my interest in the position around mid-August. While on vacation the team lead called for a phone interview. We had to exchange a few messages and when we finally caught up with each other, we were on the beach. So, I just did the interview while the waves crashed behind me! She just said that the department secretary was setting up their schedules for the coming weeks, but didn't say anything that would lead me to believe I would get called in for an interview, so I hung up feeling disappointed and figured that was the end of it. Lo and behold, not long after we got back, they called! 

I went in for the 2nd interview and met with one of the other social workers on the team and the team lead. I loved them. They were fun and easy to talk to and the children's hospital is a really nice place to work. The problem was, we were just back from vacation and Theo had literally been up every hour the night before so I was totally exhausted during the interview. I usually interview pretty well, but I left thinking that was the worst interview I had ever given. Then she mentioned they had 5 other people to interview and then the final candidates would be interviewed by the department director. So, again I left thinking that was that and I would not get the job. 

The day after Labor Day, I was called in for a third and final interview. I was hopeful because she said I was not only meeting with the pediatric social work director, but the social work director for the whole hospital. Susan said that he never gets involved except to discuss salary. She told me later she knew I had the job based on that but didn't want to say it in case something happened. So, I went in for the interview and it went really well. Somehow we got to talking about parenting and she had done so many things like we do them and we laughed about our kids and just had a nice time talking. They offered me the position right then and there! I tried not to look shocked and I'm sure was grinning like a fool. I met with the big boss and we hammered out the salary details and start date, filled out a few forms, got a bunch more handed to me to fill out and I start on the 30th!

So, what's the job? I will be working in the children's hospital in one of the outpatient clinics. My main responsibilities are cardiac, transplant and genetics. I will be doing all kinds of things - counseling families whose kids are in the hospital, helping out with their needs while they are in Durham and making sure they are well connected to resources in their home communities (lots of people come from all over to get treatment at Duke) before they go home. It's two full days a week from 8:30-5 and they are hoping to secure funding to add a third day after the holidays. This is perfect because it means I will be home with Theo for more than half the week and my work days won't interfere with Susan needing to sleep off her weekend of work. Since it's a clinic, they are closed on weekends and holidays! I can also keep taking care of Sydney in the mornings, which is great because we are really, really trying to get out of debt except for my student loans and our mortgage. The salary for my new job is the most I have ever made (well, I mean if my salary was for full time) and I am so, so happy. They were really welcoming and seemed genuinely happy to have me. 

This will be so much better than my current job for a number of reasons. For starters, in my current position I do a lot of driving, phone calls and paperwork that I don't get paid for. I also end up working about half the day every day and never have full days off except on the weekends (I know, cry me a river - but for a part time job, it feels really full time just without the pay). Now, my work days are my work days and my home days are my home days. I will be able to schedule Theo's doctor appointments, play dates, story times, etc. on my days off and not have to worry about rushing around. The other big issue with my current job is that if my clients cancel or just no show, I don't get paid. So, my paycheck was never consistent and many times, fell short. Now I have a good paycheck and it will always be the same. And the final reason is that because of changing definitions at the state level, I was either going to be forced to take ALL therapy cases (which I would have hated) or would have been out of a job in another month. So, this couldn't have come at a better time. It's a good career move and they will take on my LCSW supervision (free!) and fold it into my work day. 

I'm a little sad about having two days a week where I will only see my baby boy in the evenings, but right now I will have 5 days with him full time and that's awesome. I know he and Susan will have a fun time having Mom and Theo days where they can break all my silly rules and wear clothes that don't match. Hopefully they will email me a picture or two during the day to keep me happy. 

So, all in all, it was a red letter day. We are going to make serious financial headway AND continue to keep Theo out of daycare. And yes, we have talked about making the big move to Durham. I think our plan is to take the next 2-3 years to get in super good financial shape so that we can pick out a house we LOVE instead of just one we settle for. So for now, the commute continues. 

And, on the day they take my picture for my badge, I will be sure to wear Carolina blue so no one thinks I have become a Dookie now that they are paying my bills. :)

The only experts that count.

The longer I am a mother, the longer I am convinced that the only experts that count are the parents. Seriously. 

If you know us, you know that our child at nearly (gasp!) 10 months does not sleep through the night. Not even close. Most experts say that children this age should definitely be sleeping through the night, for about 12 hours. HA. Our child wishes to wake at least every 3 hours, sometimes even less. Nothing we have tried has worked - he just isn't a sleeper. One night last weekend I decided that if he should be sleeping through, then sleeping through he would. I mean, doesn't every parent want their child to be exceptional or at least, average? 

Theo woke up after being asleep for about 2 hours. When he wakes, he doesn't just fuss - he cries, hard. This child never cries during the day. He might fuss or voice some complaint over his face being washed or being relegated to his walker while we do a chore, but never cries. Anyway, I went into his room and tried rubbing his belly, "shh-ing" him, singing, etc. All the things the "experts" promised would help a wakeful child back to sleep. None of it worked. As his mama, I knew what he wanted. He wanted to nurse. I knew that would calm him yet I continued to stand there like an idiot, trying in vain to lull him back to sleep while he cried and looked at me with a look of heartbreak and confusion. This went on for a few more minutes when I finally got some clarity. WHY the hell do I give a damn what he should be doing according to some people who have never met my child? WE are the ones who know him, who love him and who comfort him. "They" (whoever "they" are) might be experts, but they aren't the experts on our child. No one is. No one will ever know Theo like we do. In that moment, the "experts" made a fool out of me with all my belly rubbing, shh-ing and off key singing. 

I picked Theo up and hugged him and we sat down in our chair. I latched him on to nurse and he immediately calmed down. I looked at my son though the darkness of his room, his little hand resting on my chest, his foot kicked up on my shoulder like it always is when he is nursing and his eyes closed, happy at last to be right where he needed to be. I wiped one of my tears off his chubby little cheeks and apologized for letting some "expert" second guess what I know to be true - his comfort, his trust in us is what matters. Not a clock. One day all too soon, I won't be able to comfort him like this (at least, I hope he isn't still nursing in high school!). One day all too soon, his little heart will break and we won't know immediately how to make it better like we do now. I know we will all hate that more than anything. So for now, we will miss a little (a lot) of sleep and I will deal with trying to nurse him while he pokes me in the eye, digs in my armpit, sticks his fingers in my nose, pulls my hair and whips his head around to say hi to the dog without unlatching first. I will deal because in the still of the night, I am reminded why I fought so hard for this battle - it's not just milk and it's not just for him. It's for me, too. 

Susan and I might be tired, but we are experts on Theo. And as far as he is concerned, that's all that matters.