A YEAR of breastfeeding.

That's right, a whole year. A whole year of breastfeeding my son every 1-3 hours (depending on his age) for 365 days. And without the assistance of even ONE drop of formula. I did it. 

Breastfeeding was so hard for me for the first 6-ish weeks. I cried a lot. Theo cried a lot. Susan didn't cry but did a lot of supporting and looking helpless, not her favorite feeling. It started with a shallow latch, a pound of birth weight lost, a nipple shield, too fast a letdown and a diagnosis of Raynaud's with medication required 3x/day. Still, we persevered, Theo and I, determined to make it work. In my mind, there simply was no other alternative. I didn't even want any "just in case" formula in the house. I had waited a long time for this and wanted to give him the absolute best. My best. 

Breastfeeding is more than feeding. It's a relationship and it's a commitment. It means that after almost two years, my body still doesn't belong to me alone. It means that I have been up for every single night feeding since he was born (well, but Susan does the "crib shuffle"). It's also comfort for mom and baby and has helped make Theo into a healthy, confident, lovable little goober. In 12 months, he's had exactly one cold that he caught just last week. That's it. Breastmilk has been his shield from sickness and his only means of growth for 6 months until we started giving a little solid food. 

Where do we go from here? Well, I'm not so sure. I'm letting Theo take the lead for his second year, which is as far as I have committed to continuing. The WHO says two years, so as long as Theo still wants to, then we shall soldier on for another year. 

While those early weeks were torture, I have really LOVED every minute of this. It's something only I can do for him. And Theo loves him some "milkies." It's hard to imagine a time when we won't be a nursing pair, so I will be spending the next 12 months cherishing the time we have left. 

This has truly been the hardest thing I have ever done (including 31 hours of labor and graduate school). It's also the thing I am most proud of. It's always great to meet a goal and this was a super huge one to meet, in my opinion. And the sweetest thing about hitting the year was getting a beautiful thank you card from Susan, thanking me not only for having Theo for us but for making him healthy and strong by remaining committed to breastfeeding. She's a keeper, that one. 

A year. A whole year. We did it.