Frustrated.

I am so frustrated with my back. I can't exercise, I can't sit on the floor with the kids and I can barely give a bath. Today I deep cleaned the kitchen for about an hour and despite ice and Advil, I still spent the rest of the day barely able to move without crying. It just sucks to think I could be like this forever. I think I need an MRI because there has got to be something wrong. The spine doctor did an x-ray and said structurally everything is fine, it was just Lucy's speedy delivery that caused things to be too loose and out of whack. Yeah, well, she's almost a year old. Come on. He said to go to PT, but manipulating it at all or doing anything out of the ordinary causes such extreme pain, why would I do that??

I'm also worried it's going to cause my hip to be damaged because of the way I have to move when it's all flared up. I end up hunching and dragging that leg which puts my hip in a funny position and causes a lot of pain.

The bigger issue is my weight. I know I have had two babies close together, but I am at my highest weight ever and it is super, super frustrating that I can't even exercise. I can't cut calories because as soon as I do that, my milk supply goes down. I'm going to be dragging myself across the finish line (a year) as it is, I can't risk a supply any lower. Nursing makes me so hungry, but I don't lose weight when nursing. I seem to have missed that benefit. I feel huge, none of my clothes fit and sometimes I choose not to go somewhere just so I don't have to try and squeeze into something that isn't yoga pants.

Anyway, no point to this I guess, just a vent.

Oh, and just for you Lindsey - Lucy weighs 18 pounds and 6 ounces. :) I don't know her length, but she's still in 6-12 month clothes with plenty of room. In 0-6 month Robeez with plenty of room. She's too small for real shoes, according to Stride Rite. She's a peanut!