How is it that just when we get one sleeping all night/napping/etc. that the other one decides to stop? Just when we got Lucy converted to one nap, Theo quit napping. Once in a blue moon (like when he's had swimming lessons in the morning, then played at the outside pool and then gone on errands and has been up since 5:25) he'll crash in the afternoon. But, it's super rare. All of this I think has contributed to the last few weeks of sleepwalking and night terrors. Dear god, this is exhausting. We put things on his doors so he can't get out of his room and end up walking the 'hood, but we are getting up 3-4 times a night to resettle him. We are SO TIRED.
Everything we've read says it's normal for this age and I think that since he's getting less sleep (no nap and now gets up an hour earlier than he was) that is contributing. As with all things, I know this will pass. Hopefully soon.
The good news is that this has confirmed for me that I do not want another baby. How did we ever do this (with more like 6 wake ups a night) for months on end???
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Yesterday.
Yesterday I had an appointment to discuss my lady parts and why I wet my pants while I work out. For my own dignity, I shall spare you the discussion, but let's just say that the diagnostics she described would rival things I read about in 50 Shades of Grey. Ahem. Moving on.
So, I met with Leigh Ann, the midwife who delivered Theo. She's moved on from the birth center, but I knew where she'd gone and she was the only one I cared to discuss these issues with. During Theo's epic 31.5 hour birth, she was uh-ma-zing. She knew when to encourage and when to push. She never seemed ruffled. Most of all, she hung in there until the very end. She was the first person to put hands on my son, the person to guide Susan in how to assist with his delivery and the first person who ever told him, "oh, you are a really nice baby!" I bet she's delivered skillions of babies and she probably doesn't even remember my delivery (though she always pretends she does!), but I will never forget her. She left her thumbprint on our family and quite literally delivered us one of our most precious gifts.
All that to say, she's my girl when it comes to matters of the lady parts. She was with me for an hour and a half yesterday and do you know what she spent most of that time talking to me about? Lucy's birth. She wasn't there for it, I wasn't even a birth center patient at the time. I re-told the story, same way I have many times before, but the difference was, she really heard me. She heard me say that I was scared, out of my mind with pain and that my only memory of the whole thing was hearing I couldn't get an epidural and that the cord was around Lucy's neck. She heard me when I said the midwife present for the delivery yelled at me, assumed I was being wimpy when in fact I WAS ready to deliver only 45 minutes from the start of the pitocin drip. She heard me when I said the pain was so great and the experience so traumatizing that I will never get pregnant again. She understood when I told her how hard the pregnancy was, how I didn't get the right kind of medical support for the pregnancy and how difficult the post-partum period was with a very difficult newborn. She really got how this was supposed to be my redemption birth. The quick, unmedicated, textbook one. The one I painstakingly planned for with Theo and didn't get. She was there for that one, so she knew why I really wanted Lucy's birth to be different. How sad I am that I have basically no memory of it. Theo's was long, but there are many things I remember. I can close my eyes and see his face pop out in the mirror. I can remember exactly how it felt when he was handed to me. I remember words everyone said. I don't have that for Lucy and Leigh Ann cried when I told her that.
See this awesome picture? I assume my sister took it because she had the camera, but I don't remember. This is obviously when I first laid eyes on Lucy, I am reaching out to touch her, but I don't remember it happening. I know she cried, loudly! I know she peed on me when I was holding her. I have some memory of afterwards, but very little of the during.
Leigh Ann thought a session or two of therapy could be useful to process these events. I told her no. I mean, how could I possibly complain? I'm at work today and I have to walk all of 10 feet to see lots of lots of reminders that a healthy baby is worth absolutely ANYTHING you have to go through to get there. I'm lucky. Beyond lucky. Still, I get what she was saying. But today, I think that just talking with her yesterday was really helpful and I'm good. She had been the one person I really wanted to talk to afterwards, it just took me nearly 20 months to get there.
Midwives are incredibly special people. I'd recommend midwifery to anyone who was pregnant. The care they deliver both during the pregnancy and after is so helpful. And yes, it was a midwife who delivered Lucy. I recognize that I just got one that wasn't the person I needed at that moment. Maybe others found her style helpful. Any of my pregnant friends or mom friends, I hope you find your way to someone as special as Leigh Ann. Even though it's been 3.5 years since she delivered Theo, she's still my girl.
(And if you are in Durham and in need of care - email me and I'll give you her info!)
So, I met with Leigh Ann, the midwife who delivered Theo. She's moved on from the birth center, but I knew where she'd gone and she was the only one I cared to discuss these issues with. During Theo's epic 31.5 hour birth, she was uh-ma-zing. She knew when to encourage and when to push. She never seemed ruffled. Most of all, she hung in there until the very end. She was the first person to put hands on my son, the person to guide Susan in how to assist with his delivery and the first person who ever told him, "oh, you are a really nice baby!" I bet she's delivered skillions of babies and she probably doesn't even remember my delivery (though she always pretends she does!), but I will never forget her. She left her thumbprint on our family and quite literally delivered us one of our most precious gifts.
All that to say, she's my girl when it comes to matters of the lady parts. She was with me for an hour and a half yesterday and do you know what she spent most of that time talking to me about? Lucy's birth. She wasn't there for it, I wasn't even a birth center patient at the time. I re-told the story, same way I have many times before, but the difference was, she really heard me. She heard me say that I was scared, out of my mind with pain and that my only memory of the whole thing was hearing I couldn't get an epidural and that the cord was around Lucy's neck. She heard me when I said the midwife present for the delivery yelled at me, assumed I was being wimpy when in fact I WAS ready to deliver only 45 minutes from the start of the pitocin drip. She heard me when I said the pain was so great and the experience so traumatizing that I will never get pregnant again. She understood when I told her how hard the pregnancy was, how I didn't get the right kind of medical support for the pregnancy and how difficult the post-partum period was with a very difficult newborn. She really got how this was supposed to be my redemption birth. The quick, unmedicated, textbook one. The one I painstakingly planned for with Theo and didn't get. She was there for that one, so she knew why I really wanted Lucy's birth to be different. How sad I am that I have basically no memory of it. Theo's was long, but there are many things I remember. I can close my eyes and see his face pop out in the mirror. I can remember exactly how it felt when he was handed to me. I remember words everyone said. I don't have that for Lucy and Leigh Ann cried when I told her that.
See this awesome picture? I assume my sister took it because she had the camera, but I don't remember. This is obviously when I first laid eyes on Lucy, I am reaching out to touch her, but I don't remember it happening. I know she cried, loudly! I know she peed on me when I was holding her. I have some memory of afterwards, but very little of the during.
Leigh Ann thought a session or two of therapy could be useful to process these events. I told her no. I mean, how could I possibly complain? I'm at work today and I have to walk all of 10 feet to see lots of lots of reminders that a healthy baby is worth absolutely ANYTHING you have to go through to get there. I'm lucky. Beyond lucky. Still, I get what she was saying. But today, I think that just talking with her yesterday was really helpful and I'm good. She had been the one person I really wanted to talk to afterwards, it just took me nearly 20 months to get there.
Midwives are incredibly special people. I'd recommend midwifery to anyone who was pregnant. The care they deliver both during the pregnancy and after is so helpful. And yes, it was a midwife who delivered Lucy. I recognize that I just got one that wasn't the person I needed at that moment. Maybe others found her style helpful. Any of my pregnant friends or mom friends, I hope you find your way to someone as special as Leigh Ann. Even though it's been 3.5 years since she delivered Theo, she's still my girl.
(And if you are in Durham and in need of care - email me and I'll give you her info!)
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Keepin' it real.
I don't think I have any male readers, but if I do - carry on. You don't want to read this.
The past few days, I have felt pretty annoyed with my new, post-childbearing/nursing body. I used to have nice boobs. Really, I did. I liked them. Now they are saggy and scarred and reside somewhere in my navel region, preferring the southern climate now, I guess. I could live with that as it's not totally unexpected given that I nourished two kids without ever using formula. It bums me out, but at least there are some good bras out there that get the girls back in the game. What's really got me down is that I now need a diaper when I work out. Jumping jacks or jumping at all makes me pee all over myself. So yeah, that sucks. I haven't sneezed without crossing my legs since Theo was born, but this is a whole new level of demoralizing. Sigh.
The other day as I was dutifully working out with Jillian, I was doing some plyometrics, holding my boobs up because my sports tank was letting me down, with one of Lucy's diapers stuffed in my workout shorts (hey, it was the best I could do in a pinch), and I wanted to cry and just give up. My shoulder needs surgery, my back is permanently damaged, my boobs are saggy and I wet myself. I'm only 34.
But. This morning I got on the scale and I am 9 pounds down. NINE. Many more to go, but one little pound from double digits. And I feel this goes without saying, but my two little babies were absolutely, totally, completely worth every scratch, dent and ding left behind on my body. Saggy boobs, diaper and all, I will keep going.
I also made an appointment with my midwife at the urging of some fellow mama friends. Apparently, there may be a procedure to help the peeing. The midwife who delivered Theo was always my favorite and has since moved on from the birth center to a new hospital based practice. They have office hours in Brier Creek and do well woman care as well as maternity care. So, I have an appointment Monday and if nothing else, it will be wonderful to hug Leigh Ann's neck and show her pictures of Theo.
There you go. Keepin' it real.
The past few days, I have felt pretty annoyed with my new, post-childbearing/nursing body. I used to have nice boobs. Really, I did. I liked them. Now they are saggy and scarred and reside somewhere in my navel region, preferring the southern climate now, I guess. I could live with that as it's not totally unexpected given that I nourished two kids without ever using formula. It bums me out, but at least there are some good bras out there that get the girls back in the game. What's really got me down is that I now need a diaper when I work out. Jumping jacks or jumping at all makes me pee all over myself. So yeah, that sucks. I haven't sneezed without crossing my legs since Theo was born, but this is a whole new level of demoralizing. Sigh.
The other day as I was dutifully working out with Jillian, I was doing some plyometrics, holding my boobs up because my sports tank was letting me down, with one of Lucy's diapers stuffed in my workout shorts (hey, it was the best I could do in a pinch), and I wanted to cry and just give up. My shoulder needs surgery, my back is permanently damaged, my boobs are saggy and I wet myself. I'm only 34.
But. This morning I got on the scale and I am 9 pounds down. NINE. Many more to go, but one little pound from double digits. And I feel this goes without saying, but my two little babies were absolutely, totally, completely worth every scratch, dent and ding left behind on my body. Saggy boobs, diaper and all, I will keep going.
I also made an appointment with my midwife at the urging of some fellow mama friends. Apparently, there may be a procedure to help the peeing. The midwife who delivered Theo was always my favorite and has since moved on from the birth center to a new hospital based practice. They have office hours in Brier Creek and do well woman care as well as maternity care. So, I have an appointment Monday and if nothing else, it will be wonderful to hug Leigh Ann's neck and show her pictures of Theo.
There you go. Keepin' it real.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
To all of my three readers.
You've probably all done this already, but just in case ... Lucy is in a contest on Facebook to win TEN smocked dresses. Now, if you know me, you know that I LOVE smocked dresses. Love them. And I'd sure love to win some. I also love the Ronald McDonald House and what they do for our patients and their families. So, if we win, I am going to take two of the dresses there so they can give them to two baby girls who need something pretty to wear home from their treatment at Duke.
Here's the link:
Click here!
Just give it a click and it will take you right to it. "Like" her picture and you are all voted. If you are so inclined, "share" the picture and encourage your Facebook friends to vote. Send your grandma the link (wait, do grandmas have Facebook?).
We'd sure appreciate it. And yes, it's just clothes. It's also fun and will brighten a few people's day. Thank you!
Here's the link:
Click here!
Just give it a click and it will take you right to it. "Like" her picture and you are all voted. If you are so inclined, "share" the picture and encourage your Facebook friends to vote. Send your grandma the link (wait, do grandmas have Facebook?).
We'd sure appreciate it. And yes, it's just clothes. It's also fun and will brighten a few people's day. Thank you!
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Mama date.
Oh, this little boy of mine. As first kid, he will have always been with me the longest, always the one I know the best. He's at an age where I want to smother him with kisses one minute and put him in the backyard the next. Susan found out that Super Why was going to be at the science museum and I decided to make it a date with my main man.
We dropped Lucy with Susan after soccer practice and went to meet the big guy. He was shy, but did give Super Why and Woofster a high five. He made a mask and had fun at the museum. Then we went for Jersey Mike's and hit up Trader Joe's. Nothing spectacular, but I treasure time with just him.
Best part? He looked up at me while we were eating and said "I love Mama dates." Me too, buddy. Me too.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Lucy's new word.
Dinosaur! a video by MelissaandSusan on Flickr.
She doesn't have a ton of words, but the ones she has are so cute! Especially when said over and over again.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Meal plan Monday!
I need to start doing this again, because I run out of ideas. You will notice this isn't diet food. I can't eat like that. For one, I have kids to feed and I am not making 4 different meals. And for two, I like good tasting food. So, I just eat less.
1. Shake and Bake chicken, steamed veggies, mashed potatoes
2. Turkey burgers, corn on the cob, tater tots
3. Turkey chili
4. Beef stew w/noodles
5. Pizza/out
6. Pancakes
7. FFYS
I love crock pot meals for pool days. When we go in the afternoon the LAST thing I feel like doing is cooking dinner.
1. Shake and Bake chicken, steamed veggies, mashed potatoes
2. Turkey burgers, corn on the cob, tater tots
3. Turkey chili
4. Beef stew w/noodles
5. Pizza/out
6. Pancakes
7. FFYS
I love crock pot meals for pool days. When we go in the afternoon the LAST thing I feel like doing is cooking dinner.
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